My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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