I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
