Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
