I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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