So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
