no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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