I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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