oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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