she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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