Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
