8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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