Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
