I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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