The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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