all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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