Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
