it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
