Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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