I didn't shave. On purpose
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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