You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
