i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
