Yo dont text me then not text me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
