paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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