Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
