Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
