youre lurking in front of me
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
