I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
