We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
