k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
