Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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