Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
