I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
