You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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