Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
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She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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