More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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