I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
