my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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