My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
