I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
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My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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