You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize