i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
