Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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