Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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