oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
