u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
