she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hippo gnu deer
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
