So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
