If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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