i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
