I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
