So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
