I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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