on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
