Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
