the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
