i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
