oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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