I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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