just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
