last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
