it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
